My Dear England,
As a gentleman, I feel it is my grim but solemn duty to notify you that it is, indeed … ON. We declared our independence once. And on Friday night (11:00 PM EST on ESPN) I must declare it yet again. Our armies will meet upon the field of battle, but you’ll soon find your “Red Coats” are easily bested by three men … wearing only black. Incidentally, our “minute” men in fact only require a mere 4.7 seconds to reach the 60 mile per hour threshold.
With utmost respect,
George "Can of Whup A**" Washington
(Blog Editor's Note: Please tune into ESPN at 11 p.m. Friday, June 11 to find out how this ends).
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